what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
