Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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