Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
