So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
