K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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