you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
