My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
