things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
