I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A bitchslap is in order.
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