Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
