im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
