you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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