Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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