this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
babies were throwing up all over the place
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
