haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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