im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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