I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
