he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She bit a glass in half.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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