If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
