I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
