I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
