I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
