butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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