Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
