i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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