that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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