I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
