Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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