He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize