YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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