dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
