I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
