sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
