I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
