i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize