nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
