i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
