Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
