were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
