yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
