Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
