then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
