I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Drunk is not a location!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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