Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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