it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
