i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
