just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
