Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
