I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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