Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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