We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
