Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
