Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
