can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
