if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
