My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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