I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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