oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
