i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
