You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
