If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
