I need help removing her.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
