just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
