Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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