He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
